June 2007 in Florida

Getting along famously with the fam 

Shawn and I dated for a year (March 2007 to March 2008) before getting engaged.

While I'm sure there is so much to recount from that year, so much of it was a blur. I was a senior at Moody, working on the Manna project, nannying part-time for a family nearby, and somehow getting homework done. We still saw each other every day, if only for a few minutes between our other commitments. 

Within a couple weeks of dating, I knew he was it. I was going to marry this guy. I called up my dad - who happened to be traveling at the time - and said pretty bluntly, "I'm going to marry Shawn." He said, "Wow. I'm glad I was sitting down." I'd never said those words about anyone else before, because I'd never felt them. I told my dad that there were no red flags in our relationship, not even yellow flags that would make me hesitant about Shawn. So much peace surrounded our relationship and our passions for ministry, for missions, and our compatibility in so many other ways just confirmed that I was supposed to be with him. Forever. It didn't scare me one bit. I was ready.

So nearing our one year anniversary of dating, I was getting suspicious. Was he going to propose? I'm sure lots of girls go through this... getting needlessly worked up over every holiday or significant date (Christmas? Valentine's Day? My birthday?) and then trying not to seem disappointed when there was no ring. Our first year anniversary came and went. No ring.

At one point, Shawn and I even photographed an engagement from the bushes (my dear friend Anna had no idea we were there hiding), and the moment was so beautiful. But it also made me think, "When in the world is Shawn going to propose? Is he even thinking about it?"

I should've known he had been thinking about it. Planning for months. Saving every last penny from his catering job for the most incredible day of our lives. 

One way he planned was by taking me ice skating often to "practice" (though I had no idea that was the reason, of course). I hadn't grown up skating and was pretty shaky on the ice. But Shawn knew if we were going to get engaged on ice with hundreds of people watching, I'd need some practice. I bought my own skates and we went skating quite a bit. It was fun, sometimes, and I was improving each time - but sometimes, I'd fall right on my knee caps multiple times and end up so bruised that I could barely walk without pain. Shawn was determined, though, and bought me knee pads to wear while I skated so I'd enjoy it more and not be scared to fall.

So in March 2008, the night before we got engaged in New York City, he took me ice skating in Millennium Park in Chicago. It was particularly crowded that night and the ice was really scuffed up so it made it a lot easier to fall. I fell a couple times when little kids whipped past me and made me lose my balance. Finally, I got so frustrated by it that I got off the ice and told Shawn, "I hate this. I'm never doing this again." 

Shawn, feeling a little worried that the very next day, I wasn't allowed to hate this - said, "You just hate skating here, with so many people, with rough ice. You don't hate skating." 

"Yes. I do." 

"No, you don't. It's part of our story, sweetie. We started liking each other on the ice in New York." And I'm sure he wanted to say, "And we're getting engaged there TOMORROW so you better like it!" But he just put his arm around me and we headed back to campus.

Way to kill the moment, Whit (and way to give your boyfriend a heart attack).

When we got back to campus and started to thaw out in the lobby of my dorm, Shawn handed me a card. It was beautifully handmade by him and had an invitation to a date the next day. I knew something was up - and had a feeling it may involve an engagement - but had no clue how incredible that day would be. 

The next chapter of our love story is our engagement day. To read it, go here. 

To see the many photos from the day, go here to see my Facebook album. You won't regret it. :)

Part VII - Our first time being really far apart

Just 8 days after Shawn and I started dating, our two-week Spring Break arrived. We were going on two very different trips. Shawn was part of Moody's Chorale and was touring all over the Northwest US. And I was headed to Viet Nam to teach English.

I was so looking forward to the trip, and had been preparing for months, but with this new relationship  I felt like a piece of my heart was being ripped out. We had just started dating, and the newness and butterflies of those first days and weeks was far from wearing off. Not only would we be apart for that time, but we'd be on opposite sides of the world. It was likely that we'd have no communication at all during that time.

The morning before we both left, we met at a hole-in-the-wall diner down the street from school to have some quality time to talk and pray and say goodbye before the big trips. At breakfast, Shawn slid this across the table to me:

It was a devotional he had written for me - one for every day of my trip. I guarded it with my life. It was so, so special. I tried to save each devotional for that day, but it was really hard not to look ahead. Every morning was a comfort reading the Word in Shawn's handwriting and reading his prayers over me.

As I boarded my flight to Tokyo and for the next 2 weeks, I learned for the first time what it really meant to miss someone. I had always been so independent that I don't think I had really felt it before - but I missed Shawn with every ounce of me. My every other thought was a prayer for him.

The trip to Viet Nam was an incredible adventure that I really loved. But the whole time I was there, I felt like a piece of me was missing. I wanted Shawn to be there to experience all of it - the smells of the local markets, the rides through Saigon on scooters, the privilege of telling someone about Jesus for the first time.

Me & a Vietnamese friend

So one day toward the end of our trip, a friend and I rode our bikes to another pat of a village we were staying in and came across a phone booth that claimed it could make international calls. I stepped inside the tiny booth and the directions said I should just press "1" and the number when dialing to the States.

I punched in Shawn's cell phone number, but I was skeptical to say the least. There had been no dial tone, and there was no ring on the other end. My heart sank a little.

Just as I was about to hang up, I heard from the other end: "Hello?"

I couldn't believe it. I didn't even say anything, I was so stunned.

"Is this who I think it is?" he asked with a smile in his voice.

My heart pounded as I tried to hold back just how giddy I felt. I couldn't believe I could hear him and he could hear me and we were talking for the first time in 2 weeks. I know that sounds so dramatic, but it was one of the happiest, most relieved feelings I've ever felt. We caught up for a few minutes while my friend waited patiently outside. Shawn was just about to head to bed at someone's home outside Seattle, 12 hours ahead of me. And I was dripping with sweat in a tiny, humid phone booth in a village outside Vinh Long. And we both couldn't stop smiling.

Most of all, I think this trip confirmed for both of us that we didn't belong to each other - we belonged to our God, who would protect us, strengthen us, and grow us apart from each other. I also had a lot of time to think about our future, and the Lord really confirmed that Shawn was going to be part of it. After meeting Shawn and knowing him as deeply as I did and being so encouraged by his love for the Lord, I knew I wouldn't be able to settle for anyone else.

To read the rest of our love story, go here.

The night I became Shawn Newby's girlfriend.

I know I know... this is the longest series ever. I didn't really expect it to take this long to write out! If you've been following it for all these months, you deserve some kind of medal. If you are just tuning in, click up on the top right side of the page under "a love story" to get caught up.

After that first date to Weber Grill, Shawn and I were inseparable. We'd meet first thing in the morning at Joe's (a coffee shop on campus) and we'd read our Bibles next to each other. Then we'd go our separate ways to class, then meet up again for chapel. And it went on and on. At this point, the rumors were rampant and we didn't deny anything. We liked each other. That's all anyone really needed to know (as if they needed even that).

But before we were "officially dating" - exclusively, I guess - Shawn took the initiative to keep my parents in the loop. I vividly remember him pacing around in the plaza where we met, making sure he knew exactly what he was going to say before he picked up the phone to call my dad. He had met Dad briefly a couple weeks before early in the morning. But it was brief. And I was there. Not really the time to explain his intentions.

He picked up the phone, and I have a feeling my dad had seen it coming. Because the questions Dad offered in return were just a little too perfect. :) Shawn told Dad that he wanted to date me and didn't want it to seem like he was going behind his back just because my parents didn't live in the same city. I don't remember much of the conversation, but I remember smiling nervously, hoping my dad wasn't being too tough on him. And then I remember that before they got off the phone, Dad asked to pray for us, and then gave Shawn his blessing.

Now to those of you who maybe didn't grow up in such a conservative background, this all probably seems a little crazy. Maybe you're thinking at this point, "You're not even getting married... just dating... and he has to ask your dad's permission?" I thought the same thing at first. But I also thought it was so beautiful and respectful that Shawn wanted my parents' blessing before he pursued me in any way. I think both of us knew that we would end up getting married, and he wanted to start out on the right foot with my parents. And boy did he! They love him like their own son today and I have a feeling part of that goes back to this very conversation.

So on with the story...

After he hung up the phone, we walked down to the mail room to check our mailboxes and I beamed, "So it's official! I'm your girlfriend!" I thought he would hug me or smile, but instead, he just said, "Well I haven't really asked you yet."

Ok, then. :)

He told me he wanted to take me to dessert that night and talk about it. So we did. It was lightly snowing outside, and we walked to the Grand Lux. If anyone knows us well, they probably know that we love that place, and a lot because it holds some of our dearest memories of all of our days in Chicago. He asked me officially if I would be his girlfriend. I said yes. And we smiled and laughed and leaned across the table just giddy about each other. It was perfect.

He had planned for us to go to the top of the Hancock tower that night to see the view, so we walked hand in hand down a near-empty Michigan Avenue. The snow was still falling, but it wasn't all that cold (at least in Chicago terms), and we felt like the happiest people in all of Chicago.

As we walked, two other people walked on the sidewalk toward us, but we weren't really paying attention until one of them called out, "Whitney?"

It was my ex-boyfriend from high school who had no idea I lived in Chicago. He was there just for the weekend looking for a job all the way from Texas. And I was stunned.

We chatted with him and his friend for a few minutes, making small talk, as we hadn't actually talked since we broke up 3 or more years before. I could not believe (still can't!) that out of all of Chicago, there he was. And there I was. And there, on the same square of pavement, was my boyfriend as of about an hour ago.

As we walked away, Shawn said, "How fun was that! Your friend all the way from Texas?!" at which point I explained who he really was and started crying. I think it was all just so emotionally confusing. But when I look back at it now, I see it as God not-so-subtly saying to me, "Look what I've given you. This is your past. And this - Shawn - is your future. All on the same sidewalk." The contrast was sobering and comforting all at once.

My first date with Shawn Newby.

A few days after returning from Indiana, Shawn and I were walking in Chicago in the freezing cold (as usual) and ended up at the two-story McDonald's on Ohio Street. We sat in a booth across from each other as Shawn tried to satisfy his insatiable hunger (which hasn't changed since I met him 4 years ago). :)

"Can I ask you a question?" he asked.

I saw in his eyes he had been thinking this through.

"Can I take you out to dinner tomorrow night?"

I turned bright red almost instantly, but told him that yes, he could. He made me promise I wouldn't try to pay. I promised.

The next evening, I met him at the appointed time. He hailed a cab outside my dorm, even though the restaurant was easily walkable. In the cab, he handed me a card.

When I opened it and saw the front, I was confused. It was a "thank you" card. But I hadn't even gone to dinner with him yet! When I opened it, it read like this: (I still have it)

Whitney Tunney! I can't believe this! I'm actually taking Whitney Tunney out for dinner! I am one lucky guy! I don't deserve you or your time so thank you very very much for tonight. You are AMAZING! We're gonna have so much fun!! - Shawn

He just had to melt me before the date even began. We ate a delicious meal at Weber Grill (a now historic restaurant in our book... little did we know). He held my hand, purposefully and openly this time.

The next few days after our first date, I felt like I was living on a cloud. Deep down, I thought he might be the one. I might marry this guy. Not because he wrote me a thank you note on our first date or treated me so well or was passionate about the Lord like few I'd ever met. It was a deep sense of peace that I know now the Lord had given me that everything about our relationship felt right.

It felt joyful. I loved that.

It felt pure. I loved that even more.

Later that same week, Shawn found me tucked in a corner in the library, writing a paper. He sat down beside me and had a notebook in his hand. It looked like a journal. He looked eager to tell me something really important, so he whispered to me like he'd had a revelation, "You're exactly what I've been praying for in a wife!" He showed me some characteristics that he had prayed since high school for a wife and then told me how I fit each one.

Now if any other guy had come in the library to tell me this, I think I would've gotten up and left right away. But hearing it from Shawn - and feeling the peace I already did - it made sense to me. It felt so right. And let me just tell you, my heart was over the moon.

My first road trip with Shawn Newby

Our love story continues.



Upon returning from New York City after our whirlwind weekend, the temperature of our friendship had changed. I found myself sitting with Shawn in our class together, across him for coffee, next to him at chapel, and we even volunteered together once a week. We'd walk to Cabrini Green together, then separate for our individual assignments (I taught hip hop dance, he taught guitar). Then we'd walk back together and grab dinner. We were exchanging calls, emails, texts, and Facebook messages quite a bit. And yet even with all these things that others would consider signs, I was in denial that there was more there than just friendship.

Lots of friends - including my roommate - approached me asking me if we were dating. I'd been getting that question for a while now, and eventually, I thought they'd stop asking. I'd say "no, we're just friends" because I still didn't feel like I had any real evidence that he thought otherwise.

Oh, the suspense.

So a few weeks after New York, Shawn told me that his brother Erik was having his senior art show in Indiana, and was wondering if I would be able to drive him there (I had my car at school, Shawn didn't). To my surprise and his, I immediately said, "Sure!" then almost immediately thought to myself, "did I just say yes?"

I vividly remember the morning we were to leave, I went into Ilene's office and was pacing with nervous energy. She was trying to tell me it'll be fine, he's just a good friend, and then he texted me to ask my opinion on what color tie he should bring. For whatever reason, that freaked me out. I thought for sure he must like me - why else would he care my opinion on his tie color?

Of course all this time I was hoping that he liked me. To be honest, that's how I spent most of my college days. I didn't always want a boyfriend, I just wanted someone to like me. I guess I enjoyed the chase and the drama. And yes, I'll be advising any future daughter of mine to not be this way.

We had a lengthy but wonderful drive down to snowy Indiana and on the way, Shawn just happened to mention that his parents were going to be there. I hadn't known this beforehand (and was especially surprised because they live in Germany!), and I became even more nervous. A girl has to know where a relationship stands before she meets the parents, right?

The weekend was wonderful and I got along with his parents great. On the way back, Shawn told me that both parents had taken him aside during the weekend to tell him how much they were impressed with me. (And still, we've yet to actually "define the relationship"). Apparently, they'd never told him this about any other girl before.

So as we drove the hours back to Chicago, I tried to break up the tension that was building in my heart and mind, and I pulled out a Seinfeld book. I used to love that thing on road trips growing up, and so I started reading passages from it, and could barely get through it without dying laughing. As we laughed together for hours, Shawn's hand somehow ended up on my knee. And then my hand ended up on top of his hand. And then, somehow, we were holding hands. Without gloves this time. Under an open Seinfeld book. Of course we didn't talk about relationships or the fact that we were holding hands. We just kept laughing with Seinfeld.

And while I may seem like the most clueless girl in America at this point, when I came back, I still denied that he had feelings for me because he hadn't actually told me he did. When my roommate cross examined me upon returning from the weekend, she looked for all the signs that there must be something more there. And with a straight face, I told her, "I think he just wants to be friends."

Uhh yeah.

To be continued, of course.

The weekend I started to like Shawn

A long, overdue part 3 of our love story.


After returning from Christmas break in January 2007, Shawn and I started seeing a little more of each other because we had a class together. We would hang out a lot with our friends Ilene and Justin, making the excuse to go to their apartments to "study" but very little studying ever got done.

One night, Ilene, Shawn, and I decided we should take a quick weekend trip to New York City just for fun (Justin had to stay because of his work schedule). We would stay with Ilene's friend in New Jersey, and we found $29 fares, so we booked them last minute. We called it the "We're So Single" trip - we were all recently single, and happy about it, and we thought it would be so fun to go away for a weekend without anyone having to know.

The weekend was a blast - and a whirlwind. We dragged ourselves all over that city to make sure we got the most of our very quick visit. We walked around Central Park and on Broadway, ate New York cheesecake, rode the trains all over the city, and had lots of time to talk. It turned out that much of the time, while Ilene was catching up with her friend who we were visiting, Shawn and I would sit together and talk. We talked mostly about what the Lord was teaching us, but also our goals for the future, our families, our passions. We had already been close friends, but these hours of conversation were bringing us closer.

\

Near the end of the trip (which also happened to be my 21st birthday), I told Shawn that one of my life goals was to skate at Rockefeller Center. It just seemed so romantic and iconic of New York, one of my favorite places in the world. So on the last evening before we headed back to Chicago, he made sure it happened. He paid for the two of us (while Lenes sat inside watching us through the glass). I still didn't take it to mean anything - it was just a sweet thing to do, since I had wanted to skate there for so long and it was my birthday.

We strapped on our rental skates and stepped onto the ice, along with the rest of New York City, and started to skate. Growing up in the South, ice skating is not really my strong suit. :) Shawn, on the other hand, is incredible on skates. So as a gesture of friendship (or so I thought), he grabbed my gloved hand and helped me to skate. It felt really natural, holding his hand. We were good friends. I tried not to read into it. And little did I know that 13 months later, we'd be back on that same sheet of ice and Shawn would have a ring in his pocket. But that's getting way ahead of the story, isn't it? :)

So as we skated, my mind went to a place it had never gone before. Do I like this guy? I mean, of course I like him. He's one of my closest friends - more like a brother than anything else. But is there more there? (I later came to find out there had been "more there" in Shawn's mind for a while, but I was still pretty clueless.)

We flew back the next day and I came back to Chicago with a lot of thinking to do. Journaling. Praying. Wondering if Shawn might have been feeling the same things I felt.

To read parts 1 & 2:
The night I met Shawn Newby
How I became friends with Shawn Newby

How I became friends with Shawn

Shawn, me, Lenes, & Justin

That first semester knowing Shawn was casual and unassuming. We'd occasionally see each other around campus, but at Moody, it was almost impossible not to. In other words, we weren't making plans to run into each other. We did have a class together and would sit together occasionally, but it wasn't a given.

At the same time, in the beginning, I tended to feel a little nervous around him. I remember just a few days after meeting him for the first time, I stopped by my friend Ilene's apartment and walked in to find him sitting on the couch in her living room with a couple other friends. It stunned me. They were friends? How did I miss that? I made an awkward greeting, then stumbled into the kitchen because I felt my face getting red and hot. I made small talk with some girls until I was ready to come out and have a normal, nonchalant conversation (without a red face). So I guess you could say I had a crush, but wouldn't admit it to anyone, not even to myself.

My first impressions of Shawn - his endearing, engaging, encouraging spirit - hadn't changed. I admired him so much as a person and I honestly felt he was on a different level than I was in so many ways. Surely he would choose a much prettier, smarter, more spiritual girl than me. I was out of the question, and I didn't let my mind go any further in thinking there may be something more in the future. It was just a privilege to be his friend, and I was content with that. At the time, too, I was still interested in someone else and was enduring (and possibly creating) all kinds of drama, which distracted me from any feelings I may have had for Shawn.

As the semester went on, we started hanging out more. We spent lots of time with our friends Ilene and Justin at one of their apartments. It was an escape from campus - the "Moody bubble" - and an excuse to procrastinate studying even more. At Justin's apartment late at night, we'd make our signature "Canewtun" cakes (Caster + Newby + Tunney = Canewtun) which consisted of whole wheat pancakes with chocolate chips, peanut butter, syrup, and cinnamon. One night, the three of us sat around and took turns reading the entire book of Esther out loud. It makes me laugh now thinking about it, though at the time it was a very worshipful experience. All that to say, both Shawn and Justin were like brothers that I never had and inspired me to be a better version of myself.

In the meantime, people were beginning to ask if we were dating. It's part of Moody culture, I guess, to be so curious about one's relationships status on campus. If we were seen walking through the plaza, sitting in chapel, or eating together, well... it must mean we're dating. It would've been a compliment if I saw a chance with Shawn, but because I didn't, the constant questioning just annoyed me.

So as I went home for Christmas that year, I hardly thought about him at all. I think we exchanged a couple of quick emails wishing each other a Merry Christmas (he was in Germany that year), but that was all.

It's amazing to me now that my eyes and my heart were so blind that I had no clue I was already friends with my future husband. But I now know that the Lord had purposely closed my eyes to him until just the right time.

The night I met my husband.

Inspired by several friends who have done the same, I have decided to write our love story. In part, as I journey further from our beginning each day, I begin to lose those precious details of our first days as friends, then as boyfriend and girlfriend, then as fiances, then newlyweds. I want to remember - even fifty years from now - the treasures of our first few years together. 


Mostly, though, I see our story as part of a much bigger story of God's perfect sovereignty and grace. And that, my friends, is worth celebrating over and over again.


This story will come in parts. This is just the very beginning.


The first glimpse I got of him was in my peripheral vision. I had seen him before across campus, but we had never actually met.

It was the night before school started in August 2006, and we stood in the plaza at Moody catching up with friends we hadn't seen for a whole summer. The annual Vesper's service had just concluded, and I happened to be chatting with Josh - a mutual friend of ours - when Shawn introduced himself into the conversation.

Josh introduced us, and I acted as though I'd never seen him before. In reality, I already knew who he was and had even seen his photography website. We had even been in a large class together, but I didn't expect him to remember me from that.

As we begin to talk, Josh slowly backed out of the conversation and, to this day, says he stood back and saw something special between us. Something like a future.

Shawn and I small talked for a bit, then progressed to where we were from, our families, our childhoods.

"My parents are in Christian music ministry, and growing up, we travelled with them to local churches where they did concerts every weekend," I said.

"My parents are too. We did that too," he responded. "My dad is also a producer and we have a studio in our house."

"Mine is too. And so do we," I said.

It all began to sound eerily familiar. The only major difference to our growing up is that I grew up here in the States, while Shawn grew up in Germany. Most other things we had completely in common - something I'd never experienced before.

I had one sister. He had one brother.
We both grew up on golf courses.
We both had the job of setting up and manning the product table after  our parents' concerts.
We both ran cross country.
We both took every art class available in high school.

When we put a few pieces together that same night, we even found out that Shawn's family's favorite Christmas album was by a group my mom was in, so he grew up listening to her voice year after year. In Germany. 


Beyond all the incredible similarities, I don't remember exactly what we talked about. I do remember how genuine he was. How happy. How kind. How he leaned down ever so slightly to make his 6'4" a little closer to my 5'5" so we could be on the same level. What surrounded Shawn was a peace I had rarely seen - a humble, yet confident presence that made me feel encouraged and secure. I didn't feel nervous or self conscious around him in the least. Oh, and he was definitely handsome. I loved the way he smiled so big that his squinty eyes disappeared.

At the time, neither of us was officially dating someone, but we were both interested in other people. So while there may have been an immediate connection between us, neither of us even thought about pursuing more.

When we had to meet up with other friends, we parted ways and I felt so light. I knew I had made a new friend. That night in my journal, Shawn somehow ended up there among several other praises and prayer requests I recorded. I thanked the Lord for my new friend and how he encouraged me just by our first conversation that night.

To be continued.