Tonight our family of three roamed the halls of our local mall while Mommy timed her contractions. Your little sister's arrival is imminent, and somehow, I'm watching your two-year-old mind begin to grasp that. You've been more tender toward me than ever and it's making the idea of adding a fourth member to our family even harder. When you pull me to the couch and ask, "sit Mommy? Cozy Mommy?" then pull the blanket up to our chins, I can't imagine anyone else being my baby. Of course I'm thrilled to meet your sister soon and I know my heart will nearly explode when I see you two together. But the change is coming fast and it's harder to wrap my mind around than I imagined it would be.
At one point tonight, as I limped stiffly through a contraction, you turned around and saw my tear-streaked face. My view of you and Daddy would soon contain another person, and it was a hard pill to swallow. You reached for me, looked into my watery eyes, gave me your best double-dimpled smile and shouted, "Siwwy mommy!"
The thing is, you're absolutely right. It was probably silly for me to cry in the hospital, moments before your birth, and grieve the end of "just Shawn and Whitney." The moment I pulled you to my chest and breathed in your warm, wet skin, I couldn't imagine our family without you. It's silly for me to be sad now, knowing full well that adding another heartbeat to our family is going to make us all better, more complete.
Still, you'll always be my first baby. Don't ever forget.
I adore you, sweet boy,
Mommy
Whitney, when I was waiting for my second baby and feeling just like you do, my grandmother reminded me, "Every baby brings its own love with it!" And she will! Praying for you as you bring this new one into your family!
ReplyDeleteI remember when I was pregnant with our second child, I was so scared that I wouldnt have enough love for it. My heart was allready bursting with love for our first baby. How could it even be fysically possible to have room for twice the amount of love? No problem! As someone else mentioned here, the baby brings it with it:) Good luck with the upcoming miracle! :)
ReplyDeleteOh my! You have me bawling! I'm sitting here about to push our baby girl out and you hit the nail on the head!! Congratulations to you guys! Can't wait to see a sweet picture!
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