Last night I had the TV on and flipped over to this silly show...

{This ad just so happened to be on a billboard right outside our bedroom window in Chicago.}

Before I knew it, scenes of our beloved Chicago flickered on the screen.

They showed lots of touristy spots: the Bean in Millennium Park, joggers along the lakefront, and tourists on Michigan Avenue. My eyes were glued to the TV. Of course, they showed all of these scenes in the summer, so it was even more alluring.

But then... Giuliana and a friend walked into Argo Tea.

Not just any Argo, but our Argo (if we could claim it) on Rush and Pearson.

And my heart ached for Chicago.

It didn't even matter the conversation that Giuliana and her friend were having. I was too focused on what was going on in the background of one of my most familiar spots in the city. I recognized both baristas behind them: the sweet, quiet Asian woman who always wore a green bandana and the tall, lanky barista who always seemed a tad aloof but was always in a good mood.

I know it's a chain tea shop and there are more quaint spots in the city, but I made a thousand memories in that room.

I remember trekking there through wet snow with a scarf wrapped around my face in defense of the wind and it seemed like way more than a few blocks from Moody. But it was so worth it once inside!

I remember studying my Bible there at the bar near the window, which sometimes led to deep conversations with strangers about life and faith.

I remember walking there "to do homework" with Shawn before we were dating. We'd look for a table near an outlet to plug our computers in, but when none were available, we'd use it as an excuse to talk for hours.

I remember taking both sets of parents there - a rarity considering they live in different countries - and being thrilled and excited that we'd be married soon!

I remember reconciling a friendship there.

I remember having my wallet stolen there as I tried to help a woman (who had set me up).

I remember Saturday morning dates with my new husband where we'd walk a few blocks south from our apartment, split a scone, and welcome the weekend.

So if you have the privilege of being near an Argo, stop in!

If it's cold outside (and I'm sure it is) and you like something sweet, I recommend the Valentea Passion. It's not on the menu and most baristas argue that it's sickeningly sweet, but I love it nonetheless.

If you like something more creamy (and caffeinated) my personal fave is the Earl Gray Vanilla Cream. It's as sweet and fattening as it sounds, but it warms your very soul.

Scenes from the morning.

On the days I don't have to rush around getting ready for work, I love just soaking up every drop of morning.

It hits me: I live on 20 acres of gorgeous land. There's a pond and a creek in the backyard. I see deer and coyotes and skunk families and squirrels and raccoons and geese and blue birds playing.

I'm a lucky girl.

{Our backyard, from the sunroom.}

{More of our backyard.}

{Our front yard.}

{Our front porch, which we haven't actually used yet, but I'm sure we will once the weather turns warm.}

{Morning light streaming into our living room.}

{Our entryway, aglow.}

{When Shawn is away, I steal his slippers. They're way cozier than mine.}

{Our coffee station that only gets used when we have company.}

{A favorite wall.}

{A favorite candle.}

{My messy craft room, just begging to be played in.}

{Favorite cookbooks.}

{My grandparents' anniversary clock they gave us. I love it.}

Hope you enjoyed scenes from my morning!

Wrestling in the tension.

"If you spend yourselves on behalf of the hungry

and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,

then your light will rise in the darkness,

and your night will become like the noonday."

- Isaiah 58:10

On Sunday at our church, the entire service centered around the crisis in Haiti. Our pastor spent much of last week on the ground in Haiti, visiting the Hands and Feet Project, an orphanage in Jacmel that our church supports.

We watched a few videos that were taken this week as the tragedy of January 12 and the many aftershocks are still so raw. One video showed a small group of Haitian Christians huddled in a room that had not yet crumbled, and they sang out, "I am not forgotten. God knows my name."

It was such a powerful moment, and Mark Stuart (one of the orphanage's founders) said he believes that one reason God allowed the earthquake is to remind the world of the plight of this hurting nation. God has never forgotten Haiti, but the world has. And now the global spotlight is on them - they are being rescued, clothed, fed, and prayed for by people in every continent.

At times, the tragedy seems very real and really shakes me. At other times, I flip off the TV and get back to my (often petty) to-do list. But when I see images on the screen that are difficult to fathom, I try to put myself in their shoes. What if I was the one who mourned for her husband as she just found out he was buried alive in the rubble? What if my house had crumbled and we were left without food, water, or shelter? Why not me?

I am quick to realize that everything I have been given - literally everything - is a gift from God.

My life is not my own.

My time is not my own.

My money is not my own.

My home is not my own.

My future is not my own. (That one is especially hard to swallow.)

So even though Haiti is seemingly so removed from my life here, I feel that I have a responsibility to at least ask myself this question: "What is my part in the restoration of Haiti?" I believe each of us should ask ourselves that question. No, I don't think everyone is called to make a trip there. In fact, I think very few people should go as it's been emphasized over and over that unqualified people - even with good hearts - will only add another mouth to feed. But I believe that to whom much is given, much is required. And we have been given so much.

So what is your part?

Maybe your part is to pray. I am often guilty of thinking prayer is not enough, when in reality, there is nothing more powerful we can do than plead with the Creator of the universe on Haiti's behalf. We can pray for peace, for restoration, for hope. Most of all, we can pray that the thick darkness that has bound Haiti for so many years would dispel in Jesus' name and revival would envelop this country! What an incredible picture of redemption that would be - and not too big for God! He holds Haiti in the palm of his hands.

I really don't know what else I am called to do. I may donate another round of jewelry to World Vision. Maybe we'll adopt. I really don't know. But I am "wrestling in the tension" (as our pastor would say) that here I sit in Franklin, Tennessee with everyone of my needs met while our brothers and sisters in Haiti have nothing. I sit here sipping a cup of tea, thankful that I have electricity, running water, more clothes than I would ever need, clean air to breathe, and I have never once gone hungry. My brothers and sisters in Haiti cannot say the same right now.

So right now, I pray.

The following passage from Isaiah 54 was written for Israel, but it is such a stunning prayer for Haiti right now. I hope you'll join me.

"Though the mountains be shaken

and the hills be removed,

yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken

not my covenant of peace be removed,"

says the Lord, who has compassion on you.

"O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted,

I will build you with stones of turquoise,

your foundations with sapphires.

I will make your battlements of rubies,

your gates of sparkling jewels,

and all your walls of precious stones.

All your sons will be taught by the Lord,

and great will be your children's peace."

- Isaiah 54:10-13

My Celiac story.

Back in April of last year, I experienced a horribly turbulent flight just before Easter weekend and, that evening, my first full-blown panic attack. I had never felt anything like it - a complete loss of control, shaking limbs, and the palpable fear that I was near death. I begged Shawn to take me to a hospital, thinking something was seriously wrong. He tried to calm me down and ran a hot bath for me, which helped a little. We prayed and asked my parents and some friends to pray, which helped more. But it was still a mystery why this had happened in the first place. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced, and I didn't feel that I was in a particularly stressful season in life. The flight was scary, but not necessarily bad enough to cause such severe symptoms.

As several days and weeks passed, I didn't experience another full-blown attack, but would feel panicked about every other week and my legs would tremor (like severe chills). Other symptoms started showing up as well. I developed a dull, constant headache that would ebb and flow in severity. And after eating, I'd nearly always feel nauseated and dizzy and have to lie down until it passed. I became an expert at faking that I felt good, but even if I seemed completely normal to friends, I usually didn't feel ok at all.

There were also gastrointestinal symptoms, such as waking up in the middle of the nightfamished. I was so intensely hungry at 2 or 3am every morning that I'd run blindly to the fridge, eat a little peanut butter or bread, then fall back asleep for a few hours. I'd be woken again no later than 5am by the same feeling.

As you can see, this was no way to live.

This went on for 5 or 6 months, and during this time, I visited five different doctors. The first two doctors thought I was "just pregnant" and dismissed my symptoms as very early pregnancy. I was not pregnant, for the record, and left frustrated because they hadn't really listened to me. For the leg tremors, one doctor said, "Don't worry, you don't have MS" and prescribed a potent muscle relaxer with horrible side effects, which I opted not to take.

Another doctor surmised that I had blood sugar issues, and sent me home with a glucose monitor. I knew I wasn't the typical candidate for diabetes, but I went along with his idea. I tested my blood sugar every few hours or when symptoms would occur, but the numbers didn't coincide with my symptoms like I had hoped. I did have very low blood sugar (hypoglycemia) at times, but never too high which would indicate diabetes. And it still didn't account for all the symptoms I was experiencing.

This miserable "not knowing" lasted 7 months before we had an answer. I took 16 different blood tests, and the only one that turned up abnormal indicated that I may have a gluten intolerance or Celiac disease. I thought gluten was like glucose (back to the blood sugar issues) but when I did further research, I learned that it is a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye.

At this point, I was willing to try anything, though I was pretty skeptical that something I ate could cause neurological symptoms. But I cut gluten completely out of my diet anyway. You'd be amazed at how difficult this is in the beginning! No bread, no pasta, no crackers, no cereal. And it doesn't stop there - gluten is found in many soups, sauces, soy sauce, and even certain coffee flavorings, soy milk, and tea bags that are sealed with wheat paste! It is a culinary minefield! I became an incessant label reader, trying to detect if there were hidden gluten sources in anything I ate (gluten can even be disguised as "modified food starch," for example).

But it worked.

Within weeks of establishing my new diet, I felt like myself again! I had no more panic attacks, no leg tremors, no headaches, no nausea, no dizziness. And now, three months later, my health has been completely restored! Praise the Lord!

The problem is, once you stay away from gluten, your body becomes even more intolerant of it. So if I get a trace of gluten (such as if my chicken was grilled on the same grill with chicken covered in glutenous sauce) I could be very sick and throwing up for hours. So I am very, very careful.

One question I've gotten a lot and have asked myself as well: If you've always been allergic to gluten, how did you just find out? Well, from what I've read, Celiac is a tricky disease and manifests itself in many different ways throughout life. Looking back at my own history, the puzzle pieces fit together and it makes sense that I have been intolerant to gluten and not known it for many years. For example, I had asthma and allergies and chronic bronchitis in middle school, and chronic acid reflux in high school. These symptoms and others point to Celiac, though many aren't diagnosed until their early twenties or later when your body finally says, "Enough is enough" and there is a more acute reaction. Most experience GI symptoms; some never do.

I am very thankful that the general public is gaining understanding of gluten intolerance now more than ever! Many restaurants now have a gluten-free menu, such as Carrabba's,Maggiano's (who even have gluten-free pastas!), P.F. Chang's and many, many more. Also, there are more and more gluten-free products coming out on the market that taste normal or almost normal. There are brown rice pastas that taste great, and certain baking mixes and granolas that are almost like the real thing. Even Betty Crocker has a gluten-free line now!

There are also gluten-free cookbooks, my favorite of which is Babycakes. It isn't entirely gluten-free but I have loved everything I have tried of the gluten-free recipes!

At times, I've wondered why the Lord didn't just heal me or reveal the problem the first time I prayed instead of allowing this to go on for 7 months. But He's shown me a few reasons.

First, I believe it was to allow my precious husband, in the critical and formative first year of our marriage, to really serve me. My stubborn independence wouldn't have allowed him to do that otherwise. He willingly, joyfully cooked dinners, prepared epsom salt baths to help me calm down, drove me to doctor's appointments, cried with me, and spent countless hours praying over me and reading Scripture to me. I must also mention that my husband has become my guard dog when it comes to food. He reads every label and if it isn't clearly "gluten free," I'm not allowed to touch it. He watched me suffer first-hand for 7 long months, and he's not willing to risk it again. Sometimes when we're over at friends' homes for dinner, it's tempting for me to just endure the consequences if I have a little gluten (always a pounding headache a few hours later and usually stomach sickness). But Shawn takes the lead and risks offending to make sure I stay healthy.

Secondly, I also think the Lord prepared me through this struggle to comfort others with the comfort I have received from Him. As I'm about to enter nursing school, I am sure I will encounter patients who deal with chronic pain. Before now, I wouldn't have even begun to understand their situation. But after a 7-month constant struggle, I can honestly say I have a glimpse of what they must be enduring.

Lastly, and most importantly, the Lord has drawn me even closer to Himself. I'd never faced a health issue like this one, so drawn out and debilitating at times. I became a woman of constant prayer, mostly out of sheer necessity. Praying and feeling the Lord's presence was the only comfort I felt.

One story in the Bible that gave me so much hope was that of the woman who bled for 12 years before Jesus healed her. I would read this story and weep, asking the Lord to heal me as he had healed her. I knew He was capable of healing me in an instant. I argued with Him all the things I could do for Him if He would just help me to feel better. He doesn't work like that.

The account in Matthew 9:20-22 is just three short verses, but so powerful:

Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for 12 years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, 'If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.' Jesus turned and saw her. 'Take heart, daughter,' he said, 'your faith has healed you.' And the woman was healed from that moment.

In Luke's account of the same story, he writes, "Immediately her bleeding stopped." He also records that Jesus called the woman, "Daughter," and in the Gospel accounts, this woman is the only individual Jesus addressed with this affectionate, tender term. It tells me He must have been filled to the brim with compassion for this woman who had bled without stopping, without answers, for 12 long years. She must have been gaunt, her eyes sallow, and her whole countenance weak and defeated. Just thinking of how Jesus allowed her to touch his cloak without getting angry - for it would make a person ceremonially unclean to have contact with her - gave me such hope and more love for Him.

For more gluten-free resources:

Gluten-Free Goddess - tons of wonderful GF recipes!

How to adapt recipes to be gluten-free

My favorite GF baking flour

Giving Haiti a BrighterDay.

And the grand total is....

$559 raised for Haiti!

Wow.

Thank you to Jennifer, Kirra, Aubrey, Samantha, Rickesha, Jessica, Ashley, Maggie, Lynn, Rachel, Shannon, Sara, Sarah, Alissa, Mary Ellen, Mel, Erin, Caylee, Shanon, Allison, Katrina, Deb, Brandi, Katrina, and Linda for your generous hearts for Haiti and for purchasing something from BrighterDay. You all have kept me very busy over the last few days and for the week to come as I package up and send your orders. (It's the best kind of busy!) :)

Thank you to the many, many others who have spread the word through their blogs or via Facebook about this opportunity to give.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for blessing this effort far beyond my own short-sighted belief. Thank you that your will, even when we don't understand it, is perfect.

Thank you for your lavish love for your children in Haiti.

When I see these images...

{all images via FoxNews.com}

I quickly realize that $559 is the very least we can do.

But it's still something.

I pray that God would multiply these funds and direct them exactly where they're needed most desperately. I'll be sending the money today to World Vision.

"But you, O God, do see trouble and grief;

you consider it to take it in hand.

The victim commits himself to you;

you are the helper of the fatherless.

You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted;

you encourage them, and you listen to their cry,

defending the fatherless and the oppressed,

in order that man, who is of the earth,

may terrify no more."

- Psalm 10:14, 17, 18