Over the past several months, this little blog space has been more sparse than usual. As I stood under the steaming shower head this morning (where I think all of my deepest thoughts), I tried to figure out why.

My plate is full, yes. Yours is too, no doubt. But what I'm finding in this season is the need to be mentally present more than ever before. It's one thing to care for a baby - to meet her needs for constant nursing, full diapers, and stimulation. It's another to care for the heart and mind of a toddler: a two-year-old, in our case, who is stunningly verbal and wants you to respond to everything he says to make sure you understand him. By the end of the day - a day full of meal planning and cooking and cleaning and errands and library trips and constant conversation with my favorite buddy - I am spent. Poured out in every way. Add to that being 38 weeks pregnant and it makes sense why I wouldn't be thinking deep thoughts by 10pm when I sit down to write. It's a season, and it isn't worth trading for anything.

A few months ago, Shawn and I attended an event at our church for some of the church leaders and their spouses. The pastor who spoke was elicit in his encouragement to those who work with children. I wish I could've recorded his words and didn't have to paraphrase them, but in summary, he said, "To those who spend their days singing to babies and praying over them; to those who open the Scriptures with their toddlers while they play trucks; you are propelling the Gospel forward. Yours is kingdom work."

Oh, how I needed those words. I know I'll need them in a few weeks when we've added a newborn to the mix. I fight with voices in my head that I could be doing more valuable things with my time: making more money, stretching my mind, using the gifts I've been given for such bigger purposes. And then I hear the timely words of an older, wiser brother - and I look into the eyes of a little boy named Liam - and I realize that what I'm doing now is more valuable than perhaps anything I've ever done. To show him Jesus and to guide him into truth - there is simply no higher calling.

I'm praying for you today, mama friends. I'm praying that as you scrub another dish and answer another question and wonder if it all matters, that the Spirit would speak into your soul that it does. That this work you're doing is eternal.

Nesting.

Making final preparations for sister

At 38 weeks and one day pregnant (but who's counting?), I've been experiencing "prodromal labor," which basically feels like a mean joke. With Liam, my labor was fast and furious and we held a baby in our arms a week earlier than we'd expected. This time around, I was sure I was going into labor a few nights ago when contractions were 3 minutes apart and strong for nearly 12 hours. But after walking 50 laps around the hospital in my oversized gown and not making much dilation progress, we headed home.

Anyway, our girl finally has a name, hospital bags are packed, childcare is in place, Etsy orders are all finished and sent. We're ready. So very ready.

As I wait, rather impatiently, I've been doing what must be nesting:

+ I've made a large batch of homemade hummus and was delighted with this recipe. It tastes better than anything I've purchased at the store and freezes well. (I doubled the recipe.)

+ I'm currently making homemade laundry "super sauce" detergent. A friend made this for me several months ago and I loved it - and it's quite the money-saver. I added about 30 drops of essential oil ("Serenity" by doTERRA) to make it smell even more delicious.

+ I also made an all-purpose cleaning spray, which I've now used to clean the kitchen and bathrooms. I doubled the recipe and added 15 drops of lemon essential oil and 15 drops of lavender essential oil. It cleans well, smells light and fresh, and is non-toxic.

Next on the list? Headed downstairs to make a Boppy cover with some scrap material I have. I'll probably use this tutorial and pattern.

Hope to be back soon with baby news, but as you moms know, there's just no telling when she'll decide to arrive. Only in perfect time.

Plus one.

My Liam,

Tonight our family of three roamed the halls of our local mall while Mommy timed her contractions. Your little sister's arrival is imminent, and somehow, I'm watching your two-year-old mind begin to grasp that. You've been more tender toward me than ever and it's making the idea of adding a fourth member to our family even harder. When you pull me to the couch and ask, "sit Mommy? Cozy Mommy?" then pull the blanket up to our chins, I can't imagine anyone else being my baby. Of course I'm thrilled to meet your sister soon and I know my heart will nearly explode when I see you two together. But the change is coming fast and it's harder to wrap my mind around than I imagined it would be.

At one point tonight, as I limped stiffly through a contraction, you turned around and saw my tear-streaked face. My view of you and Daddy would soon contain another person, and it was a hard pill to swallow. You reached for me, looked into my watery eyes, gave me your best double-dimpled smile and shouted, "Siwwy mommy!"

The thing is, you're absolutely right. It was probably silly for me to cry in the hospital, moments before your birth, and grieve the end of "just Shawn and Whitney." The moment I pulled you to my chest and breathed in your warm, wet skin, I couldn't imagine our family without you. It's silly for me to be sad now, knowing full well that adding another heartbeat to our family is going to make us all better, more complete.

Still, you'll always be my first baby. Don't ever forget.

I adore you, sweet boy,
Mommy

20 books in 2015.

Source

Are you thinking of New Years' Resolutions for 2015 yet? (Do you even do that?) One of my resolutions involves reading, as it usually does, and this year I decided to map out my book choices ahead of time.

For now, I only have 13 out of 20 books chosen... and that's where you come in. I would love to hear your book suggestions for any of these categories of something I need to read! I know other readers would appreciate the input, too. So if you have a book idea, please leave it in the comments.

Here's what I've chosen so far...

Spiritual Life:
Women of the Word by Jen Wilkin
Found in Him by Elyse Fitzpatrick
Galatians for You: For Reading, for Feeding, for Leading by Timothy Keller

Fiction:
What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty
The Invention of Wings by Sue Monk Kidd
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet by Jamie Ford
Lila by Marilynne Robinson

Marriage & Parenting:
Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches by Rachel Jankovic
The Ministry of Motherhood by Sally Clarkson
You and Me Forever: Marriage in Light of Eternity by Francis & Lisa Chan
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy & Kathy Keller

Non-fiction:
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Lies That Make You Pay & Truths That Set You Free by Rachel Norman

DIY: Crochet Baby Hats & Bows

Crocheting is so relaxing for me, even when I (often) don't know what I'm doing and have to pull out lots of stitches. My Grandma - who taught me how to sew - taught me the basics of crochet when I was in middle school, but it's been years since I've done much of it and I needed a refresher. Enter YouTube! With the combination of some pregnancy insomnia + intense nesting over the past few weeks, I pulled out a bag of yarn I already had and whipped up a few little hats and bows for our winter baby who's on her way. In case you're interested in making some similar hats or even learning to crochet, I hope these links are helpful. The photos are mine, but the links underneath take you to the tutorials I used to make them.

Shell Stitch Baby Hat Tutorial: Size 0-3 months (5 mm crochet hook) + Tiny Crochet Bow added on (5 mm crochet hook)

(Same) Shell Stitch Baby Hat Tutorial: Size 0-3 months (5 mm crochet hook) + Felt Bow Pattern, printed at 80% (I changed the bottom part of the bow slightly and don't have a pattern for the change, but hopefully you can see how I cut it a little differently?). I had some crochet mess-ups on this one, hence the bow placed in a strategic spot. 

 20 Minute Baby Hat (Size 3-6 months: 7 mm crochet hook) + Baby Bear Ears (starts around 7:30 in the video)

The baby bows in the top photo came from this Tiny Crochet Bow tutorial and I plan to attach them to headbands or hats in the future. They take well under 10 minutes each, even for a beginner!

Are you brand new to crochet? I found tons more crochet tutorials for basically every stitch, in case you're not able to find someone who knows how to crochet who can show you the basics.