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| Terrible phone pic taken last week. We've yet to take a real picture of the belly. I'll get on that! :) |
To be honest, it's been an interesting transition as I watch my body morph into what it is right now. I have a little baby bump and have still only gained just under 2 pounds, but everything seems to be shifting quite dramatically so I am looking pregnant.
I spent a couple afternoons this week looking for a graduation dress and felt my heart sink a bit every time I tried a new dress and it fit very... oddly. I know I'm not even that huge yet, but it's been harder for me to accept than I expected. I really thought those first little pats on the belly from friends would be so exciting, but more than that, they remind me of what my body isn't. And trust me, I realize that's not the healthiest perspective.
I prayed about it this morning, which I should've done days ago, feeling pretty petty for offering up such a humble prayer. But it's my body - the one I have to carry around all day, which feels especially awkward when jogging - and I know that if it matters to me, it somehow matters to God. I needed a perspective change. The Lord was faithful to meet me and saturate me with his presence, and he helped me to remember just how much I have to be thankful for. I know that there are many, many women who hope and pray to have a baby inside, and for their bodies to change the way mine is changing. And I was reminded that my body was made for this! To grow and to stretch and to house a human soul. What an incredible, beautiful miracle.
I know that the ill-fitting clothes and probably some stretch marks are here to stay for a while. But I'm more ok with that today than I have been for weeks. Little E is healthy and growing, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Thank you, Jesus.
Whitney, I love your perspectives and have been so ministered to by your blog. I don't have any children and have never been pregnant and have been so discouraged by some of my pregnant friends talking about being fat and focusing on their bodies so much. I know I'll struggle with it, but I love your perspective and hope God grants me the same grace you exhibit.
ReplyDeleteThanks, girl. I'm right there with you... I have had many a pregnant friend complain about being fat, and I really wanted to stay away from that as much as possible (though it does actually feel like that at times!). It's hard to know how to feel about it until you've been there, but I'm praying for perspective from here on out that's healthier than it's been so far. :)
DeleteI completely understand your feelings. It can be difficult to watch your body change and grow and feel like you don't have much control! It's especially hard when people make silly comments. I encourage you to prepare yourself of any of those words people just don't think about when they are saying them! Celebrating that God met you today and brought you peace. I hope these changes will come easier as the days pass. I really enjoyed being able to feel Abigail wiggle and kick, which made the body changes a bit easier to handle! Blessings, Whitney. You're doing so well and being such a great hostess to baby E.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sarah. Wish I could sit over a cup of coffee with you and ask my many questions. :) You're such an encouragement.
DeleteOh, look at you and your cute little bump! :) You have such a good perspective on pregnancy... God has blessed women with the gift of giving birth, and even the growing belly and changes that the body goes through is part of His plan!
ReplyDeletePraying that you are feeling well and also praying for Little E! :)
Thanks, Jenna!
Deleteyour little bump is terribly cute!! if you haven't discovered lululemon yet...it is your absolute best friend as a pregnant lady! it is pricey but it will stretch and go right back to its original shape so you can enjoy it post-partum too :). my faves were the astro crop (low-rise...just right for that bump) and power y tops (buy them a size up for your larger, uh, chest)!
ReplyDeleteGood idea!
DeleteWith both of these pregnancies, I've had to constantly remind myself of the beauty of this journey and privilege that I've been given. But I struggle(d) watching my body change, watching the scales increase (even just a pound or two), and putting away clothes that no longer fit. Know you are not alone but are with friends and most importantly God who walks with us and continues to sustain us.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not alone... and you seriously look so beautiful carrying your baby (who's almost here! YAY!).
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