Confessions.

Source

Shawn and I love to talk long walks through our neighborhood. It's when we go deepest, our hearts become softest, and we really communicate for sometimes the first time that week. It's where our conversations are sharp, sanctifying, making us more and more like Jesus by tearing away the ugliest parts. It isn't like we set out with the stroller in tow and ask, "What's the darkest thing happening in your heart?" But many times, it just comes out. We need each other to sort through the messy stuff, to confess to one another and bring things into the light. I hope you have someone in your life who can dig through the muck alongside you and come out cleaner on the other side.

So what I'm about to say wasn't really part of our conversation, but there are two phrases in my current vocabulary that I feel convicted about getting rid of. Immediately. Here we go.

1. "Let me know if you need anything." 
It sounds caring, right? Someone just had a baby or had surgery. They might have lost a loved one or gone through a messy breakup. "Let me know if there's anything you need!" I've used this phrase more times than I'd like to confess and, while I've probably meant well, it's so non-committal and just plain unhelpful. Has anyone ever actually let me know they've needed something when I've tossed out this comment? Of course not. Several people told me this when Liam was born. I know they meant well. But the thought of picking up the phone and asking a random person a random favor when I really needed something? "Umm hi... I haven't seen you since my baby shower, but we're running low on diapers. And we have nothing in the fridge. Could you help?" Didn't happen.

So I'm cutting it out of my vocabulary. Instead, I'll say, "I'm going to bring dinner. Let me know if Tuesday night works for you" or "I'd love to take your son to the park so you can get some rest. What time would be best?" Way more helpful, right?

2. This one is worse. Way worse.
"Must be nice."
I see a post on Facebook about a friend's day away from the kids, an elaborate vacation, or someone complaining about being bored. "Must be nice," I say. Maybe coming from your mouth it's a harmless thing to say. But behind it is so much bitterness and jealousy and discontentment with my own life at that moment, it isn't even funny. It exudes ingratitude for what the Lord has given me... "must be nice" to not be me is basically what I'm saying. So that phrase is going away, too. The opposite of this kind of heart has to be one that praises the Lord for what He has done and what He has given. Because He's given everything.

Ok. Confessions over. That feels better.