Today was... interesting.
It started with a cup of very strong coffee at 4:45am, and is ending soon (once I finish my paperwork for tomorrow's clinical) with this yummy meal. I don't know why I was craving pasta and peas, but it just sounded like comfort.
Without divulging too much, my 11 hours at the hospital was challenging. In a good way, yes. I always learn so much from my patients, and this patient was no exception. He was exceptionally interested in teaching me about every aspect of his care, which was both exhausting and rewarding. I learned where my threshold lies, as I ended up in a cold sweat on the floor at one point. That makes it sound worse than it was, but let me just say: wound care is not my calling. My teacher was calm and comforting, and she gave me water and had me put my head between my knees. I started crying and couldn't stop. I felt like a failure. A wimp. But thinking about it now, I think anyone in my situation might have reacted the same way.
Right now, my parents are on their way over to our house to spend a few days while they get their new house ready to be lived in. It'll be a fun, cozy time with all four of us under one roof, plus boxes and boxes of their things all over the place. It feels a little surreal having them stay with us instead of the other way around. I'm glad we can help.
All in all, it was a good day.
A very s t r e t c h i n g day, to say the least.
And for that I am thankful.
I love your sweet blog. So thoughtful and encouraging...its a gem in the blogworld. Enjoy your time with your parents!
ReplyDeleteWe have to do wound care as PTs too...it's definitely not for everyone, and don't let anyone make you feel like a failure if it's not your thing! You are going to be an AMAZING nurse!
ReplyDeleteFor the record- give yourself time. I work with pediatric patients as a child life specialists and when I first started there were several procedures where I would end up almost losing it. I completely understand what you mean about feeling like a failure. I was constantly at war with myself, the faithful side knew that I was where God wanted me, the insecure part couldn't let go of the fear that I wasn't good enough, strong enough, prepared enough to help my patients.
ReplyDeleteYou are going to make an AMAZING nurse. As someone who works with the medical staff I completely agree that you can tell a huge difference between the individuals who aim to heal the whole person, not just the specific ailment. The hardest thing I had to learn in my internship was to make mistakes. Every time I hit a bump in the road, or I came up across something I wasn't ready for I felt like I should just give up and admit I couldn't do it. But the truth is, you're going to have rough days, you are going to have patients that are impossible to deal with, you are going to have ailments that make you sick to your stomach. It gets easier with time, and even if it doesn't, there are a great many avenues within nursing that will not require wound care.
Ive never even met you, but I am confident God is already using you to make an impact in your workplace. Enjoy having your parents around and get some needed rest!
Sweet Whitney, I love reading about the journey God has you on. If I had been within 500 feet of the wound care unit, not to mention helping a patient, I would have been on the floor with you. Hugs...
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