First letter to baby.

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Written March 10, 2012
Dear baby of mine,

Hi!

From the moment you announced your presence with a vivid, cobalt blue + sign, I was in shock. I had hoped for you in my heart someday, but wasn't exactly expecting you right now. But you're here, just beneath my skin. They say you'll double in size this week, and I think that's pretty impressive. You're real, you're growing like a weed, and the reality of you and excitement for you is settling in a little more every day.

Often Every night, I wake up around 2am to go to the bathroom, and as soon as I crawl back into bed, my heart begins to race with thoughts of you. Big thoughts.

Are you a boy or a girl? I have a strong hunch that you're a boy, but no real reason to think either way. I just can't picture you as a girl. I promise I'll be so excited either way!


Will you look like your daddy? I sure hope so. A little Shawn look-alike running around would be just about the best thing ever. I definitely picture you with lots of blond hair as a little person, just like both your mommy and your daddy.


Will I be enough for you? This is definitely the scariest thought of them all. I've always wanted to be a mom at some point, but I've never felt called to be a stay-at-home-all-the-time mom. I honestly think I will be a better mom to you if I'm also working and doing things that make me feel alive. The balancing act that we will inevitably juggle scares me, but I'm thankful for your Dad, your Mimi and Poppy, and the many friends you already have that will be glad to pinch your cheeks and stare at you for a couple of hours while Mommy gets work done. I hope this doesn't disappoint you, but inspires you. And I hope that it, indeed, makes me a better mom for you.


When these thoughts become overwhelming, I ask Jesus to take the weight of them from me, and I pray. I lay my hands on my belly and pray that you are safe and healthy, that you will know the incredible love Jesus has for you even now, and that you will be a godly man or woman who lives with passion and intention. I know it's a lot to ask, but God is big enough. And those are all the things I hope for you.


Considering you're the size of a blueberry, it looks like we've got a long way to go, you and me. But here's the thing... I really love you. I didn't know I'd have the capacity to love a person the size of a blueberry the way I do, but it's true... you've already stolen a big piece of me, and I don't want it back.

Love,
Your adoring, still very surprised Mom

Post edit: Thank you all so, so much for being excited with us! It definitely makes it all the more real and the anticipation for our little one even stronger. I so appreciate your encouragement, your prayers, and your joy!